Dreadful Detoxifying Diet

So two days ago I decided to go on an all veggie and lean meat diet for health reasons.
No sugar, fruit, bread, beans, carbs of ANY kind. I’ve been having some issues with my stomach along with a persistent skin rash, foggy thinking, energy loss, etc. I’ve been trying to diagnose myself with some sort of condition for the past few months. I’ve gone to several doctors and none have had a solution. After hours of research, I came across this website. Thanks to their extensive explanations, I finally think I figured out what’s wrong with me. So, long story short, I’m going on the Candida Diet for at least a month.

I’ll tell you a bit about my experience so far. Yesterday was Day #1. I woke up, went downstairs to make some delicious coffee, looked at the coffee maker and almost cried. Unfortunately, coffee is strictly off limits, along with cream, milk, and all dairy products (except plain greek yogurt, blah). So, I put the tub of aromatic grinds back down on the counter and walked away, sat at the kitchen table, and stared solemnly at the coffee maker. What was I going to do without coffee for at least two weeks, probably more like a month (or several). I reluctantly accepted the fact that I was not going to be allowed coffee, even decaf, and so I opened the refrigerator looking for something to eat.

Let me tell you just how hard it is to go an hour without carbs or sugar of any kind. I start thinking to myself, well oatmeal is technically oats, so that’s allowed. No. How about whole wheat english muffins with almond butter? No. Bran cereal? No. Fruit? No. Ok, well that leaves me with eggs. Eggs arn’t so bad, I’ll just put some feta cheese on top and be done with it. No, can’t do that either. So, I finally dig through the refrigerator, pull out some kimchi and roasted tomatoes, and cook up an interesting-tasting omelette. Turns out, a few minutes after I finish eating, I find out that I’m not allowed to have roasted tomatoes either. Woops.

So, lunch rolls around, and I have literally nothing to eat in my house that’s on the list of allowed foods. On my way to the food store, I remind myself that I need to be open-minded and only buy organic. Well, I spent about 20 minutes in the organic vegetable section thinking about what combination of foods I could stir fry together to create anything remotely appetizing. Nothing. So I grabbed 10 bags and started filling them up with everything I could think of that was on the allowed list. Ginger, kale, garlic, asparagus, beets, cabbage, cucumbers, chives, onion, raw sauerkraut, zucchini, swiss chard, broccoli rabe, etc. I also picked up four packs of organic chicken, which is technically against the website’s recommendations, but I figure I need some type of sustenance and protein.

I also buy anti-hairball cat food for my lovely cat who keeps yacking up long sausage-like blobs of her own hair in the middle of the night.

As I’m waiting in line to pay, I think, well this will be enough food for several days, and I’ll come back on Wednesday or Thursday and restock my refrigerator with fresh vegetables. Well, $100 later, I rethink this last thought, and hope this organic produce lasts me at least a week!

Although I’ve been miserable without bread or rice for the past 72 hours, I have learned how to cook things I’ve never cooked before! I used organic virgin coconut oil to sauté my chicken and broccoli rabe, which tasted amazing I must say. Coconut oil has amazing anti-fungal properties, and makes everything taste so much better. And today, after biting into a rock hard fresh beet, I learned that you must boil beets before eating them! Who knew? After boiling them for an hour, I go to throw away their stalky stems and think, wow, I’m wasting so much potential food! And these beets cost a frikkin’ fortune! Is there any way I could cook/consume these? Turns out, YES, you can boil them and saute in oil with garlic. Delish. Definitely not as good as ice cream, peanut butter, or croissants, but it’s not too bad.

I guess this is sorta the life vegans have, obviously minus the chicken and eggs. I feel so bad for them now.

Even though it was my first day on the diet, I allowed myself to have some champagne, followed by a large glass of gin and tonic. I need to celebrate the start of my diet, right? That gin tasted so much better knowing that it was going to be the last alcoholic beverage that touched my lips for the next few months.

2/14 days completed. I’ll keep you updated.